I don’t do so well with trying to flirt. I recall this time on Facebook, this guy and I were talking. We, knew each other since we were 16. I think I mentioned him before, in Moving On … tent guy lol. But anyways we were joking around, and he mentioned he was going to be dipnet fishing with his family. Something about how it’d be cold, and how I should be there to keep him warm. I just lol’d and said, it’d be more like you trying to keep me warm, because I get so cold easily. So I was telling him, I don’t think I’d do well dipnet fishing, I’d be no help whatsoever. I don’t think this conversation was an invitation, but I was just keeping the conversation going, trying to anyways.
So I told him, I’d try to help in some way and your family would shoo me away, tell me to go look at that rock or whatever. He replies, I’d be the rock… so me… sitting behind the keyboard smiling like a goofball wondering what I should I reply… obviously I had hoped for something witty and flirty back… I came up with… “Nice rock” … that was it… our conversation stopped there I believe.
I watch other people flirting, lol not in like a creepy way, but in passing… or my friends. And I’m in such awe. It’s so crazy to me how free flowing it is to them! Whereas me… well.. prime example is “nice rock.” wtf? All of my flirting was behind a keyboard… except for 1 experience… that I can recall. And I wasn’t the one flirting, nor did I want said flirting. Actually I don’t think I can even consider it flirting, it was more just… pure… 
I’ve had a few ew moments. This 1 guy my parents, aunts and uncles knew came up to me and whispered in my ear, “your beautiful.” looks me in the eye and whispers again “don’t tell anyone I said that.” Skeeze factor off the scales on that one. But why I was thinking of this… I was looking through old profile pictures on facebook, trying to decide what to use for my pic, and I found an old vacation picture of me in cuba. It was my first official day there. I was walking around in the humid hotness, wearing a sun dress. Wasn’t too revealing. This older guy, kind of cornered me. I was looking walking around, and he stops me. Asks me where I’m from, how long I’m here.. I answer him politely, then he looks me up and down, licks his lips and says “you are right in all the places. Voluptuous.” yuuuuuuck… Even remembering this makes me shiver. Right then and there I wanted to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. Why is it only creepy old guys hit on me?
I started thinking though, if it were a good looking guy saying crap like that to me… Would I be grossed out. Probably. Then I thought… wow I wonder how flirting would work in real life for me. Because my world consists of me interacting with the opposite sex, behind a keyboard. That’s basically the only way I meet guys that I’m interested in, or they become interested in me. I’m basically unnoticeable, if the guys I was involved with, passed me on the street, they wouldn’t glance in my direction. I like to think it’s because I’m such a great ninja, but in reality… I’m one of those basic people. A lot of people have told me “if you just put on some make up, dressed up a bit.” Um… I was born and raised in a country-type town. I ran around mountains, played in the dirt, even when I was a teen. I’m still very much like that. I notice “city-folk” (lol) like to walk on sidewalks, keep their shoes clean, and then there’s me. I may look somewhat dressed up, but I’m walking through the dirt if I want to. Shoes may be muddy, but I’ll kinda wipe them off on the grass. Not to mention I have no clue how make up works. I keep trying, and I guess I don’t look too crazy, I haven’t gotten any weird stares whilst wearing my make-up styles. But I figure why try to change myself just so people can like “me”. It’s not really me, I mean to me… it doesn’t seem logical. But I guess alls fair in love and war.
Just one day I hope….
My random thoughts 